Miss Makeover:HE LET HIMSELF DOWN, SAID THE WHORE, SCRATCHING HER ITCHY FAN.

By on November 4, 2010

Yes, I know we are supposed to say ‘sex worker’. I used to use this terminology myself. Till I started hanging around with whores. Not all of whom are very nice, amazingly enough.  I am though. You can trust me.
“Sleeve Cohan” is very funny, an original talent as a mimic, actor or stand up comedian. He has been justly successful in several excellent television series which made him a household name and he’s recently been in ten mediocre Hollywood films. He’s not bad looking either but he does have the usual addictions associated with his profession – coke, women, applause. His marriages have been brief but he’s not nasty,  just, er. driven, the Peter Sellers de nos jours. He’s a nice guy, albeit one who isn’t pussy whipped or ever likely to be. Perhaps I should have skipped all this and said he’s famous. As most people seem to think this is the only thing that matters.
But is fame, talent, good looks and wealth enough to get him a free shag from a sex worker? How dare you? What sort of a girl do you think I am? All of the sex workers I have ever known are prudes, purely on financial grounds. It is bad for business if amateurs give it away.  Recently at ‘Mucky Mary’s’ (a high class tranny joint in Mayfair) the house Madame told me she was deeply offended by his behaviour. An attractive tranny himself, once, or ‘herself’ if you catch my drift, ‘Sleeve’ is prone to letching around at parties, particularly when dressed. “He really let himself down,” sniffed the Madame. Who has no time for sordid stuff like good sex with nice, funny, talented people. Who are also rich and successful. Not when there’s all those paying customers…If only people knew how to behave…

Last year ‘Sleeve’ was pilloried in the tabloids for his relationship with a talentless trollop whose only claim to fame is having been married to a grunge rock superstar. Who shot himself in the head (and good riddance too…) It’s meant to be a terrible climb down for this woman, a junkie among other things, to sleep with ‘Sleeve’ because one of his roles is a terminally unhip failed television personality. Never mind that he conceived, wrote and acted in this show which has cracked people up for about a decade. It’s more important to be a no-talent, no-technique, heroin-snorting slattern. “I know Drew Barrymore!” said the trollop, as proof of her superior status. Yes. ‘Sleeve’ was so rubbish she only managed to submit to his doubtful charms for, well, actually, about two weeks of passionate sex on drugs. What an ordeal that must have been.So Hail ‘Sleeve’,love ‘The Trip’ on telly right now,  just make a good American movie, mate. And Cuntly Love can fuck off and die.

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