I've Lost My Vibrator…What Shall I Use? Miss Roxy Lane

By on February 28, 2013

We’ve all been there haven’t we? You’re feeling the horn, reach for the bedside drawer, and realise your vibrator’s missing… AAAAGGGHH!

Well this happened to me only last weekend – I must have left it in that hotel I stayed in – grrrr! Oh well something for the maids to gossip about! Anyway, when you’ve got to get your fix… you really do have to get your fix! So I started thinking about what else I could use as an alternative..?

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The house is full of various phallic shaped objects but mostly unsuitable for use soooo I decided to hit the local supermarket. I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to find my Supersonic Rabbit sat in between the Toilet Duck and the J Clothes but there might be one or two items things that I can use use in the mean time…

As I was strolling through the vegetable aisles I was instantly inspired by what was on show… cucumbers, carrots, parsnips, zucchini, even a small squash perhaps..?

But these would just make great dildos, where am I going to get that vibration that I need..? I could always jump in the shower and use the shower head but that’s nothing new – I now was in the mood for something new, something naughtier!

Aha down the dental aisle I stumbled across a toy I was familiar with… one that I would normally use orally of course – the electric toothbrush! The buzz these things are capable of is incredible and despite never actually using my own brush in that way I have certainly thought about it!

So I was set, I decided to buy myself a nice sized cucumber and a toothbrush for my buzz! The good thing about a cucumber is that its easy to grip like a baton so you can man-oeuvre it nicely… a necessity when improvising. With my cucumber tucked under one arm and a new electric toothbrush tucked under the other I proceeded to checkout.

As I walked through the store aisles my mind began racing – ever item I passed I started to become a sex toy. A bunch of spring onions could make great floggers, the feather dusters would be good for sense play, clothes pegs become nipple clamps… the possibilities were endless!

Once I got home I was so turned on from all that shopping I tore into the packaging and wacked the toothbrush on charge straight away. One thing I hadn’t taken into account however… was the actual brush head itself – far too harsh to be used on your delicate and sensitives hmmmmm. I ransacked every draw in my house for something to pop on the end of it – EUREKA. I’ve never sewed in my life… yet among the half-used pens and unopened box of staples there it was – a thimble! It fit perfectly over the head of the toothbrush and was soft and textured – I couldn’t wait to see if this worked!

Whilst I was waiting for the toothbrush to charge I made sure the cucumber was fully washed, dried and put it in the fridge so it was nice and cool. After about 30 minutes of charging and a lot of foot tapping I popped the brush off charge, grabbed the cucumber, hopped on the bed, lubed up my cucumber and thimble and began to play…

Now I don’t know whether it was the thrill of being spontaneous, improvisational or just REALLY horny that day – but…WOW!

The pleasure I was able to wield with these two objects was immense. The motor of the brush sent powerful vibrations all the way through to the thimble tip and gave me unbelievable clitoral stimulation whilst the length and texture of the cucumber gave me deep G-spot penetration!

I made full use of both toys before lying flat out – exhausted on the bed! Now if you’ve been inspired by this then please, please remember to throw your vegetables away after use… the finger grip marks alone may give the game away!

To say I was pleasantly surprised by my supermarket sex toys would be an understatement – though I’ve already replaced my vibrator my little shopping experience has certainly given me piece of mind that should it go astray again there will always be something I can get myself off to…

 

Miss Roxy Lane

 

Have you used an ‘unusual’ sex toy?  Tell us what is is below or join the discussion on Honour’s Facebook page.

Stay Naughty x

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